Friday, December 30, 2016

The Emotional, Blood Sucking Vampire

There will always be that one (maybe two or more) friend, who will keep an eye on you like a hawk; waiting for your every move, click and find out what's going on in your life just so that they can have something to say.

It is true when they say, "acquaintances are many, but true friends are few."

So you can't stand the fact that this particular friend runs you down indirectly, gaslights you every time and can never say anything positive or just play nice.

I am familiar with this, and as a matter of fact, I have my fair share of experience of such friends too.

But when you live a pretty much 'public' life, you choose what you say and how you react on social media simply because people are living vicariously through your bold choice of career path and corporate-free lifestyle. The only way to deal with it is to be diplomatic and tell yourself that they can't suck your blood dry if you don't let them.

And you wonder, why the hell do they behave they way they behaved?

Easy.

1. Poor communication skills
2. Negative upbringing
3. Fail to reflect
4. The one thing that most of us don't practice, "think before you speak."

Something to think about.

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Thursday, November 26, 2015

A Partnership is Like a Relationship : When You Need to Drop it Like it's Hot

In case you are wondering, when I say drop it like it's hot, I really mean drop it like it is hot!

Few years ago, a friend once told me that a relationship with a company/her employer is just like a romantic relationship. Of course, we are not talking about intimacy and all that jazz here, but what she was saying was more about connection, along with mutual respect and understanding.

I couldn't agree more. In fact, until today, I still replay her words in my head. I could relate to it because I was still working back then with my ex-employer. There were a lot of misunderstandings as well, but nevertheless, as the years went by, I grew with the company, my colleagues and bosses. It was difficult at first, but I learned how to adapt and create a "home" for myself. It made leaving very hard as well, I almost wanted to withdraw my resignation letter.

I thought about everything that I have ever gone through all those years... the workplace has transformed me into an expressive and strong individual, with knowledge about creativity and design at my fingertips. Just like that, 7 years later, I left as a professional writer, and went on to build my own legacy.

Sounds like a relationship no?

You walk out of a relationship, but during those years when you stuck by him or her, good or bad experience, it has made you strong and wiser. No experience has ever gone to waste.

However.... even with all that wisdom, when a relationship is abusive or emotionally/mentally draining, it is highly recommended that you walk away and move on. 

You don't have to feel bad about it because it is not your baggage to carry. Unless of course if you are carrying your own big ass baggage, you shouldn't even be in the relationship at all!

Now trying applying this concept on a partnership. 

Isn't it the same?

I know most entrepreneurs, especially new ones who just got into this field would probably try and stay on work things out. It is good that you are trying to work things out, because it shows that you have a lot of heart and effort in the connection and friendship. But when you stay in it too long, the strive and struggle is no longer done out of friendship, but out of expectations or the need to please the other person. 

This may sound like some mumbo jumbo to you, but honestly, compatibility plays an important part in a partnership. The moment you both start to want different things, start to judge and asses one another, that's when you have to consider dropping it like eet ees hawt! And move on before the last ounce of connection, including friendship is ruined.

In the beginning, it is always fun with lots of hopes and dreams. But let's be realistic, friendship aside, we are talking about a partnership here. There's intimacy involve here in terms of money and decision making.

We are not talking about "Hi, do you want to sit next to me in class today? Let's work on an art project together! Yay!" - definitely not.

Yes, friendship is the key to partnership, but once the dynamics have changed, and you transition into the partnership phase, you can no longer reason, argue or plan like two besties. You have to learn how to separate the two seeds. 

Just like how they always say, separate work and personal. 

I had to learn that recently. I don't feel bad because I know every hour and second that I work on my startup is precious...when other partnerships hold me back, it is time to let it go. In fact, it is okay to let it go, and I am sure it happened for the greater good.

And I dropped it like it is hot.