Little girl in me

My loving soulmate told me few days ago that on the outside I'm an adult but inside I'm still a little girl. :-) so, embracing my inner child, I got something for myself that reminded me of my childhood and what once made me smile.

Gratitude to Getaways

My Love
 and a "Big LadyBug" for me!

I had a blast at Genting again. This time we needed the getaway ever since the pile up projects at work almost devoured me. I had a lot of chance to my thoughts when i was away. This time, i noticed how and why i felt the familiar feeling of anxiety and little misery when it was our last night there. I had the chance to observe my surroundings, people and the atmosphere when i stepped into a casino; even noticed how my behavior changed when i was surrounded with Asians who, many, were very tensed and stressed up at the Casino dealer's table.And an idea came to mind again, money is nothing. For decades and lifetimes, money has been the source of many happenings and reasons. But really, it is just a piece of paper, with some mandatory images and descriptions printed on it; and us, we give power to money. We bring it to life. But what if we didn't? What value would there be in Money?

Anyways, all that money-thing aside, i think like-wise with anxiety. So, i thought to myself "this time i will not give in to feeling worry, misery or any negative energy that would be able to bring me down and affect my holiday." And a pat on my back, i enjoyed myself! =)

For I am Love

Like a child on a swing,
I want to be as still as the mountains...

Gentle as the sky,

As strong as the tree...

As pure as the green grass...

For I am Love.

-SL 22.03.12-

I Am, What?

I am just like a drawing,

A figure combined with shapes, sizes and colours.

Initially, I am nothing,
Nothing but just a frame,
frame until I am formed.

However, I still exist,

Because I am thought off from God.

Before I am formed,

I am one with the wind.

I am one with nature,

I am one with everything seen and unseen in this world...

I am an idea,

I am in mind.

I exist, yet I am nothing.

I am, after all...

Just made out of shapes,
colours and sizes,
and other intricate elements.

SL. 19.03.12

The Road Taken

Two roads diverged in a wood,
and I took the one less travelled by.
And that has made all the difference.
-Robert Frost


When I was 16 years old back in secondary school, i remember learning Robert Frost poems in my English literature class. I always felt that the poem (above) was inspiring, little did i know that it had so many meanings on various levels. I downloaded a Cognitive Behaviour Diary App today, when i launched the app, there i saw the familiar stanza.

Reading the stanza brought back a flash of memories, incidents and automatically the mind tries to match to the meaning of the poem like a jigsaw puzzle, and i ended up relating to the poems with my past experiences. But one particular passing thought caught my attention; it was that everyday we are given the choice to choose and that choice would lead us to various scenarios, conclusions, consequences. Everyday we change and renew ourselves mentally and emotionally. And how do we change it is how we face these daily "choices" in our own way. These choices are priceless journeys, an alone journey but not lonely. Where i am today, is the result of a route i took yesterday, and yesterday's journey was a route i decided upon the day before that. Somewhere along, what i said to someone was a route i chose, and how the person felt or how i was left to feel or thought, was based on a chosen route before that...

The journey of the road travelled is simply a paradox one... how interesting. There are no which road is the correct one or not.. it is basically just what happens after that.

The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Source:
 http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/15717
http://i.istockimg.com/file_thumbview_approve/18473727/2/stock-photo-18473727-man-with-two-options-casual.jpg

Space

A paradox experience...

How strange it is we tend to get affected in another person's negativity when the other person is expressing from his/her own space. How strange it is that we tend to "butt in" or get "sucked in"...
And we forget that it is not our space at all to intervene.

If we remember this, surely it would be easier to feel inspired or motivated to create something be it a piece of art, a song, an article, etc. If we remember this, surely we would not be cowardice or feel deprived of happiness when our minds "thought" that we are being neglected, cast out or left out.

What a strange experience...
a question or an idea to ponder on.

An idea...
surely it is just an idea, a thought and be affected at someone else's words, opinion, perception of how you are or something you did or do or done.

Strange

Sometimes blinded by its glory,

sometimes knowing it is not that easy.

When you acknowledge it,

it becomes a drug,

when you ignore it,

it is tough.

You would think that it can change each other,

for better or for worst,

one would never know.

But in your own space, my dear

I know i can never understand.

I cannot call this thing, love,

for love knows many wondrous beauties.

Yet this thing people claimed to be love,

it pricks and it hurts,

feeding you not true happiness,

but like a carrot before an ass.

How strange it is,

for this we sacrifice.

We strive and cry,

we talk and try...

Yet, all these actions,

Serve only to seek approval.

- SL. 1 March 2012-