The Idea of Who We Are Supposed to Be

I woke up today with a thought in mind. I wondered to myself, why do we, sometimes set ridiculous expectations for ourselves. Is it because we have created this idea of ourselves that we want to be, and we have confused it with layers of goals and life purpose, telling ourselves that if we achieve just one of it, we can be who we want to be- the idea that we have of ourselves that we have created in our head

How did we get here? How is this formed?

As I was listening to Brene Brown's The Gifts of Imperfection audio book, a particular quote caught my attention. It goes, "Wholehearted living is a journey, not a destination." 

How can we experience wholehearted living if it requires us to be authentic? How exactly do we BE authentic? What is being authentic?

Often, we hear self-help articles, books and quotes talk about living and being authentic. Authentic means original. Uttering the words Be Authentic seem to sound cool to many that right now we see it being over used, spread across Instagram as an Insta-Worthy Quote of the Day- again, with the idea of positive living.

An idea is a thought, and everything that we have created in our lives is based on a single thought that has led to an idea of how we should or could be.

So here's something to ponder on.

What if, who we are right now, is not who we are supposed to be.

Who we are, right now, is simply we thought we are supposed to be?

We are, very likely, have become who we have created. Where does it come from? How did this happened? Well, I presume, from how we were raised, our social constructs or the world we live in, even when we have that realization that this is not who I want to be, that too is an idea that we create of ourselves thinking this is what we are supposed to be.

So how are we able to be authentic?

Only when we are able to remove layers after layers of who we thought we are supposed to be, and truly connect within, then perhaps we are able to tap into our truest self.

What do we do? Well, we start by doing the inner work.

Figure Out What Works and What Doesn't

I have been doing a lot of self-reflection lately. My thoughts took me back to the very first time I attempted this creative entrepreneurial path, side hustles and freelancing. Back then, I have tried all sorts of crafts, dabbled in all kinds of projects hoping to find the one thing that I can say, "this is me, I resonate with this." I believe everyone or every small creative business owners have that one thing that they resonate most with.

Over the years, I have explored almost everything: Started fabric painting at 18, registered my first company. Tried setting up as a vendor at a craft bazaar and taken up commissioned art requests; made accessories and jewellery making, set up my first art studio in a rented space (it was also a tuition centre); set up another studio again (this time properly for real) to host workshops and classes, and so much more. Everything came and gone, but the one thing that stuck around was my arts and craft blog. Creating content and writing, and the fact that after all those years of trial and error, I grew much more as an artist and continued to make art no matter what.

The one thing that I never hold back: my creative passion. The things that I have explored and dabbled in before, those were the things that contributed to my knowledge of what works and what doesn't. I am grateful to be able to share these things when I mentor artists and crafters to help them with creative clarity.

This year, with half the year already gone because of the global pandemic, has nudged me into a different direction. I reconsidered my path, my purpose, my priority and I was reminded once again that things always change. They do all the time, for me at least, big change every 2 years.

I never liked being part of the bucket with the other fishes. That's just me as a Creative, swimming in this niche industry. An industry already so niche and sometimes, like a cookie cutter, and yet I always do try to figure out ways to swim above and get a good view instead. 

I reflected, perhaps I was looking at the wrong places all these while (vulnerability). Instead of thinking that here goes another that didn't work out, perhaps I need to recognize what is already in front of me.

What do I enjoy doing most?

What am I good at?

What am I recognize for?

What am I already doing, that already works?

What is my one true passion?