How to Doubt the Doubted | Do What You Love. -Shia Lynn

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

How to Doubt the Doubted

At work I am often delegated with write up assignments every time there is an event or an awarding occasion. I have to write at least 3 write ups in total for one assignment, and so someone* said, with the amount of effort put in into each write up, at the end of the day, no one actually stops to read it. A thought came up, I am aware of each word that is coming out of that person's mouth. For that split second, I am aware because I am also able to relate; I once thought that way too. That sense of doubt was very familiar to me, and sorta' like a reminder to me- I was shaken up again to remember I write because I enjoy it. Not because I want others to read it, but because writing allows me to express myself in words.

My reply to that person was "Yes, I understand." I said it with a smile. A little annoyed but I brushed it off, because I was in that shoes too. I am thankful for being in that shoes because it took me that experience to learn how to appreciate my own work. 

For some time, I could not understand why no one appreciated my work alongside with thinking that I am no good in everything. And that fear almost stopped me in my life from doing anything I love, or thinking I am able to. I felt weak. Unable to write, draw, craft, etc. because the core was negativity- I thought i was not good enough. Little did I know was that I was hitting myself hard with the hammer- my phantom evil hands pushing myself down every time I rise up.

Like I said to my beloved yesterday when we were reminiscing back about college days, "I wish back then I knew what I know now- I would have overcome many things in life." but better to experience than to wish, because I've already moved forward.

Coming back to the story, I have learned to embraced the idea that I write for Love. I write because it is fun. Personally, I think that if everyone else continues to see things this way, doing it for themselves rather for others to notice- I am pretty sure everyone else would enjoy their work and soar high for their dreams to come true. The only magic you and I need is just a little of self-believing. Stop doing it for others, do it for yourself.

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